:(

This year 2012,dragon year.
Today is the eve of CNY,I dont feel happy at all. Except when working,joking around and playing around with colleagues.
After I got home, I feel stress, dont really like it. Because is just different with others family. They are really having reunion dinner,but me? Normal dinner that better than normal time.

Shoot. Quarrel with mum at the eve,she just step on my tail. WTF, always like that,nothing is good in her mouth.
I just say out how sucks is him to balance myself. AND, I din create story, I am telling the truth. PLS, I just blame,is that a problem? Is really kangkor to keep it in heart. But her,like protecting the jerk!
Beh song!
And whats the problem that i got many boy's friends?? Just being friend! Is that really a problem? I din sleep with them,din kiss.. is that a problem!?! Just friend!!!!!!!

Fuck that shit,somemore who else! luan say thing!!! maideh!
go die la!!!
@#%$^&*&*(*()
JEALOUSY MAKES PEOPLE CREATE A STORY FOR SOMEONE =.=
MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!
no mood for CNY!!!!!!!!

Fuck

My mum... Says
"no wonder he dumps you!!"
You lazy, hot tempered, like a boy..
What's wrong for being myself???!!!
What's wrong???
I just be myself! Is that wrong!!
Why she say no wonder he dumps you?!!!!?!!!!!!
Really...

Doomed.

Haiz.

Today, I work.
Well, I did a mistake.. I was like freaking out. I pay rm54 due to the mistake I din double confirm the cash bill. :/
I hate when I made mistake! I blame myself for my careless. I went to toilet to cry. Feeling helpless and hate myself. Why I always be that careless?? Can't I be better?? Why?? I always try to be more careful,but... I fail to..
After crying...clean up my face and get back to work.
Haiz,after that..one of my colleague treat me starbucks dark mocha. * mood get better..
I met a new crew,marina. She is nice cute! Hahaha! First day we work,but we were like very friend and close' damn, I like you! Haha!
My mood get better after that..
Feel like helpless today, no one cares. Back to home! Fuck shit, mum never understands me! Fuck! She doesn't know what the feeling. I don't want get back home early because I feel alone .
Thats why I keep myself tired and full up my day..
Never understand me,keep on comparing me with others. I feel helpless right now..but what can I do? Just can write out here. :(((
How tomorrow will be better!
T.T

I am really exhausted.

Yesterday, I slept at 4am. Wake at 8am. .____.
Really tired,after that went to mum salon to help her. From 8.30 non-stop until 8.30 ._____.
I was like wtf?! T.T tired like hell, not enough sleep whole body pain.

And someone scolded me again. :/ I did siao Su again. What am I still hoping? Hope for hopeless thing? Damn!
Stop it!!! Don't being fooled and played anymore. Stop all these!!
T.T really tired of everything. Hope I can have a peace and nice sleep.
Good night.
Don't wake up again! >:(

The first day. 18.1.12 ended up with a smile :)

Today is the first day I dint contact him, he never text me and I never text him too.

This is the first step,a good beginning.At least I manage to control myself from texting him.

The feeling doesn't feel good,is awful. Really fucking damn awful.

But still,I able to smile,laugh and joke with them. Friends and family.

It has to be a bad time,I miss him. I admit,I dont escape from this.Once I feel down because of this,I will tell myself.

''Whats the point for you to miss him and make your day down?
''Its that worth?''

''No,isnt worth at all.''

He is sucks,I dare to shout it out loud to the the world,say that he is sucks. But am I too? :)

Yes I am.

I admit,sometimes I really being so unreasonable,but there is always a reason to make girls became unreasonable,agree?

The reason that make me mad always the same.Ignore me,throw me aside.

I had been waiting for you to ask me out,but you never,maybe a month once you will ask me out.
Most of the time was I requested and get rejected.

You shouted at me,I never shout back,you throw things at me I just keep my mouth shut and stay away.

So,am I still not enough for you? I do whatever you want, is that still not enough?!

And,I am a girl,I hope someone could care and cherish me,but what did you do?

Am I still not enough for you until you search for another girl?

You say you want to be single for you study,but now? You are giving excuses. Giving bullshit excuses,to make yourself feel better.

I will leave from your fucking bored life. This is the last post about you.

No more tears for you as I promised to someone else. 

So GOOD LUCK TO YOU,YOU WILL GET WHAT YOU DESERVE TO GET.

But,its over. Everything comes to the end.

The first day, 18.1.12 <3

End with a smile :)

MUST in 2012.

This is the post about my sad feeling.

People might think that,I am happy for every day. Cause I showed my happy face.

In fact, I do being emotional whenever in night time. Whenever I am alone in the dark room and preparing for sleep.Actually sometimes is really hard to get into sleep well. I mean peace.* Every single night,I miss him.Badly.

I know I know I should let go,I am trying okay!Trying to get myself as busy as I could,just not to have the EXTRA time to think about him. But,whenever comes to midnight/night time. Fuck, what the hell is my mind doing there?!

I have to stop this,seriously..but i failed all the time. I am pretending. I don't cry,I just being strong. Sometimes I just need a shoulder to lean on.But..just forget about it. No point for me to ask someone's comfort and hurt someone by that way. I tell myself, I can bear it. Time proves everything.

NOW, my 2012 wishlist is:
1)Do my study well. No doubt, is the most important thing to me. Ever.
2) Stay as pretty as I can. *have to sleep earlier every day,but failed :/ so stop doing that!
3)Live happily as I can. Just keep on touch with ma dear friends. Then my life would be colourful and perfect :D
4)keep updating myself by gaining knowledge. Learn more about economics,keep updating what is going on around the world. It might help me in investment *HOHOHOHO
5) READ newspaper every day! Is kinda hard task for me, hahahaha! but no, you must change your lifestyle , baby <3 -.-
6)Change my diet. Have a proper diet every day, no more over coffee taken, dont eat only one meal per day. at least 2.
7)workout! in Sem 3, this is a must to make myself to be fit and stay pretty. *sport as well -.-

OKAY, I should jot it down in my ibaby and remind myself every day, I will check out how many things I actually make it ;DD

STAY TUNED B-)

The exam finally end today. Ya today :)

Today is the last paper of semester 2 exam:)

Well well well, have to admit that this sem not really did well. Sucks. No mood for study but EMO all the time *what?! Are you kidding me! Man it couldn't be

So, I hope the result won't shock me :/

Have nothing to say, gotta miss my friends when sem break. But I have to work hard for $$ , if not I can't live in the life that no shopping at all :|

So stay tuned for the life in sem break.

Love ma friends 

<3