A letter to a homie.

Hi homie, do you still remember me homie, do you miss me homie? HAHA. I miss you homie. It has been awhile since we talked like last time, no more laughters like last time, every conversation was started by me and ended with a really cool tone.
I know, sometimes I deserve things like this happened to me as I was too picky on everything and my friends said. I was holding too strong to my self-concept and forgotten how's actually a relationship should be started.
A relationship should be started with both parties who have same interest in each other. I admit I have feeling to you by the time we spend together and hangouts, I was too focus on future too focus on things I thought I would want and ignore all of the good things happened around me. Well, there are not much to tell how I feel now and its not really matters what does matter is you are tired and feeling sick of everything and have moved on and there's no way the selfishness in me to drag you back to the hell. Lastly, I would say I do have feelings and was too late to find it out.

I can't describe how I hate my life right now. It's not right to blame it as everything comes with my own decision. There was once I heard people say ,'you get to choose the life you wanna live in', 'you're the only one to make your life happy'. I'm not living in the life I wanted and I never look forward to start a new day as I have to work in a mall and its fun at all to have this kind of schedule every day. 

I miss my study life, I miss everything back in diploma life as my only concern is on my grades and coursework. In contrast what's my concern now is on responsibility, it's sucks when you wanted to be responsible to everything though you're just a 'waitress' in a restaurant and what's the most terrible thing is weekends. I couldn't blame it because i chose to back to work in a restaurant but if I didn't change my mind to be that I think I would hate my life even more now! 

Life's hard,its full of decisions to make and every step must be taken carefully. I know this is just the beginning of the adventurous life journey, but isn't a successful event starts with a good beginning?

Room decoration!

I always wanted to spice up my room with photos taken with my friends and family but I never did it .Today now I've finally done it! Gosh it takes forever for me to make it cause I'm too lazyyyyyy.

Well I'm glad that I finally made it as I told myself yesterday that I need to clean up and decorate my room. I don't make a lot of changes actually , I just organize it in another order and place some small toys for decoration. Hell it is costly to decorate your house or room to be honest, or maybe I don't know how to DIY but DIY needs to spend an amount of money as those ingredient aren't cheap. bla bla bla.. Back to the topic, so I'm gonna show you how my room looks like now. OH DAMN, i forgot to take a picture of the 'before' look so i will only share the 'after' look. I'm such a failureeeeeeeeeee.

1. Photo collage on the empty wall.
So this is the wall beside my bed. It was empty and just a dream catcher hanging on and now I had a heart shaped photo collage on it.

Ps: I've added the night-glowing effect sticker on the wall beside those collage, but its hard to capture so,hmmm...

I love it sooooo much!

2. My study desk.

As I mentioned I just rearrange the order and repositioned it to look neat ,so there's not much difference with previous look.

Make the the photos hanging for double-layered! *Because Im lack of ideas.

The little 'stand' thing is actually used to place my guitar chords tutorial, I feel its easier to refer while practicing.

There's a Christmas theme on it as I've got myself a leopard with a christmas hat on it xD (lameeee)

This is the side view of it. I've broke a string of my guitar and it embarrasses me to show you guys an incomplete guitar.

The wider view of it.

3. Christmas themed . HOHOHO christmas is coming soon, in order to be in the trend I've actually bought 2 candles with nice look to make my room feel cozy,though we don't have winter over here. LOL! But these few days are rainy so, ya it could be. :D

Hi little leopard! :3

That's all for my room decoration, thank you for viewing. 

Have you ever thought about if one day you just passed away in such a sudden, and what will happen to the people around you? Or maybe how will they react?

The thought strikes in suddenly and I try to imagine how many of them actually will care about it. 

Diploma convocation!

I'm going to post about my convocation day. 'Seriously? Its just a diploma's convocation.' Ey, diploma is really normal to many of them  but to me, its still a matter in my life. You work hard and get all papers passed to get on the stage, how could it be not vital? So it's an important event of my life. Cut the crap and bring it to the main point, today 9th of November  its the convocation of Tar university College and I'm glad I get to involved in this ceremony.
So first of all, I had my graduation gown on and its really big for me even it's a S.

Hiiiii, what kind of expression is that? xDD

Le me when the''gonna-shake-hand with i dont know what's his name'

My friend told me that my face like very unwilling to smile but I was more like I dont know how to smile .....

*what am i talking about i ve no idea.

Taaadaaa, mummy and papa you should be proud with your daughter because I'm the first one who wore this gown in our family. HAHAHA, what-.-

We have spent primary school ,secondary school and now diploma's graduation together, love you :3

What's so funny? with my classmates :) DFI1 :D

wheee! hopefully we know how to pick up our hat!

1-2-3 smileeeeee! :)))

The girls :D

There's hope.

the TRIO, tam jiak bitchessss.

with le boss, who drives us around , ps: Weline wong's boy friend.

Omg i love them so much! :)

jes jes mummmmm.

Taaadaaa.

Mr. Aaron Khooooo.

The moment I spend with this girl, there's only laughter, laughter and laughter. Love her much and long lived friendship! 

xoxo.

You ain't got nobody.

Bad things usually come in a group,they love teammates.

Bad things don't just come easily, but when they come they make sure they come in a group. Fluctuation of my mood makes me feel exhausted. I feel extremely happy for thing I shouldn't be and right after a minute I feel down because I know I'm fooling myself.

I tell myself that he actually has something on me, and right after I have the thought I feel like being fooled, by myself.

I tell myself, not to expect ,not to think, not to want anything from him but after that I will just sneak out to aim what is he doing, or what shirt does he wear today. I know the only solution is with me, I'm the only one who can make every suffocation goes away but the thing is I'm still hoping still wanting miracle to happen but in fact miracles only exist in fairy tales.

Strangled by emotional shits, and here come the importance of my life. My degree program. I thought I could enter the college I want and switch my course as my result is allowable. However, things don't just go smooth every time. I still need the confirmation from UK that whether I can study at their college and take the degree program of their University. Besides that, I just got to know that I have to repay my PTPTN student loan since I'm not studying for 6 months.

Previously I was worried about the tuition fees I'm going to pay for the degree and now I have to worry about the PTPTN. I work 8-12 hours per day just for my studies and I get to buy nothing to pamper myself. 

LIFE YOU ARE LIKE A BITCH, TO ME. WHY EVERY BAD THINGS JUST COMES AT THE SAME TIME?

When it comes to decision......

Life is hard. Erm, should be humans are greedy. At first you'd say it's enough or I'm contented if I got a job. When you finally got that job, you will try to seek for higher pay.

This is what I'm facing right now. But the situation isn't exactly the same as I mentioned.

I was told that the salary is xxxx. But after working for few days, they only told me the salary is xxxx. It's a total difference of RM400. It may be not a huge number to some of you but to me, it matters to me way a lot.

I've to work hard for my degree tuition fees, I ain't a rich girl or born in a rich family. I need to do or get things by myself sometimes. My mum has done too much to me, way too much and I feel bad to be like that , its like 20 years old girl still need mum's allowance. 

Maybe I should feel guilty, maybe I shouldn't. I was ignorant at first and now I found out the salary isn't as high as what they told me should I give up on it? to go for the higher pay.

Why am I so soft-hearteddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.

I can't get rid of it.

Every time I decided to get rid of something or forget about something and moved on,there must be other reason that makes me feels there's still miracle ahead. But in fact, there isn't. It's like something strangles around my neck and just won't give me a break.

If it continues to be like this, I think I would be insane and paranoid on everyone who comes near me.

what I can say is, my god,please bless me. D':

The 4 days getaway.

First of all, I want to apologize for taking so to blog about the 4 days getaway. So the 'getaways' i meant is the 4 days 3 nights trip in Langkawi Island. (duty free heaven)
So we depart on 24th of september. We get there by plane (AirAsia) of course.
When we first reached there, we get to our hotel to check in first.

The out view of the hotel.

The out view at the balcony.

Inside the hotel.

The typical group photo.

Like a bosssss.

We did some shopping after settling our luggage in the hotel.

Day 2

We decided to go for the cable on the second day. However,we didn't make it after all because the cable cars are under maintainence, feeling mehhh.

So we just took a look the view around there.

The Pond.

Ah Yu and Ah Teng ( sweet couple)

The luckiest couple. Blitx Lee and Weline Wong.

Oh hi water lily :) (oh wait, is that actually water lily? zzz)

 After those photo capturing, we headed to the crocodile farm. Alright what I can say is the 'farm' isn't worth the RM15. They charged us RM15 for the entrance. wthhhhhh!
Just for some stupid and lame crocodile show. -__-

hi crocodile,to be honest I dont like you, you look creepy and ugly.

Candid shot of Ah Teng :)

oh hi, random cut-in. :P

After that, we actually did go to the Mahsuri tomb. But we need to pay 7MYR for the entrance so we decided not to enter after all.

So we did some shopping during the night, and we walked quite a distance that day so everyone sleep quite early that night, unlike the first night.

Day 3.

Gunung Raya.

So Ah teng told us that, there are a place that you can enjoy the view and have tea or coffee up on a hill.

So I thought it will be like Penang Hill, that we have a broader space to enjoy the view but in fact...er. :/

We paid RM10 just to go up to a 'box' of room. Because it definitely looks like a box to me.

Before that, it had rain so we can't enjoy the view from there due to the smokes or haze after rains.

The couplesssss.

The pepper tea mixed with I don't know what is that.

It tastes weird.

So the selfie group photo!

Just me, acting coollllll. it's actually irritating right? 

xD

Oh yea, after hanging on there for 30 mins, the haze actually is cleared and we can see the view we were on the half way down to the land.

After that, everyone of us was like hungry ghosts. So as what the receptionist at the gunung raya station recommended us a Thai cuisine's restaurant, named Wan Thai.

(sorry for the failed captured,because i couldn't stand in the middle of the road to take it)

Taaaadaaaa! Alright I seriously forgot what were they named.

And it's actually cheap.

The eagle view. Typical tourist shot. with the photoboomers. -.-

Taddaaaa!

Before the eagle view, we did crazy shopping on chocolates and liquors. Actually I bought the least among them. -.-

The Last night chilling beside the pool.

The end of the story.