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Special friend,recalled all the memories.

Hey hey hey!Chen Chee Wei,ya! you is you! hahaha!

I am going to write a post for you.What?! Paiseh hami? hahaha~

Yeah,at first,I owe you an apology. You was afraid I getting hurt by him,I know I understand..but,at last because of my selfish-ness I almost lose you this friend.

:(,truthfully,I am really sorry. 

we looked SEXY.hohohoho!

From you I learned a lot.

I learned what's life actually is. Not having party every day,not spending money with branded all over the body,not showing off to everyone whenever you got something special or good or ''better'' but not best *but no one will be the best -.-

I learned,life is about,live the most comfortable way,live to be yourself but not care about how others look at you.

I was too care about how people care.Really I admit! Sometimes I don't really know what is the thing that I really want.

Nowadays I been watching and viewing your blog.Every step. You are mature enough. I hope and can grow like you abit. My mum will feel better. hahaha!

Reviewed back,you were the one who train me after I got the 'P' license.LOL.

Though is far but you can travel from your house to our house (weline wong).

HaHaHa. 

I feel I am bad I like ignore and sacrificed our friendship.

I am really sorry. But still thank you,your words really did pull me up from 'hell'.

I am really Thank you. :')

Not a really long post,but is enough to tell you.

I appreciate your cared. Really. :DD

You did nothing wrong.

The daxiang you gave to me,hahahaha!

You looked damn cute in this photo! hahahaha!!

*photo shooting for graduation magazine

That's life,it couldn't be sucks but just face it.

I won't give up-Jason Mraz

Well,do you guys actually met something that makes you happy for a certain period and after awhile it brings you down again?

Yeah,it happens today to me.

Sometime we cannot expect for too much,and we also must be aware that something good happens for reasons.

Nothing will be good without any pays.That's true.

But what can I say about it? Just face it and take it as a lesson.Have to know why the bad's happened instead of good's.

So just be aware and be conscious on what does the word 'life' actually meant to human.

Learn it and keep it in mind,always be.

I hope what I am doing and what I have paid out deserve a return.

Not expecting for a high return, at least don't make me feel like what I did is zero or not worth to get any return.

At least I deserve a small gain.I don't expect for something that is high but at least..a little difference :(

Nevermind,I believe there will be a rainbow after hurricanes :D just like what katy perry said . LOL *but not every single time :DD

NoOneWillUnderstand :(

No one will understand the hurts.NONE.

I stand firm,I laugh and I smile.Making fun like always,like a joker,clown..

But,no one could understand the tears of a clown.No one will.

The hurt inside is deep.Even myself dare not to discover it,I am fear of once I try to discover it,I will collapse like hell.

I chose not to see it,to forget.

Its like a really short time,you came in my life and walked out from my life in a short period of time.

But you did pull me from hell.As others did,but they failed you succeed.

But why,you re the one who making the most hurt to me?

No one will understand how brave I need to be every day,no one will know what I have to say for convincing myself that tomorrow will be alright.

I am still so silly and naive believing that you got your own reason,but I know the truth.

I was,am fooled by you.

What can I do? Just act like I know nothing.I dare to post this out is because I know,I have no reason for you to view my thing every day. 

Its really hurt,I have stand and be tough for so long.I promised my friend,not to cry for anyone else anymore.

I will keep my promise. 

*Thank you for being my side and making me wake by scolding me up. You taught me a lot,but sometimes please don't show me ur loh heng look xD

I must be tough..I know I will be !!!

*i know you want scold me and say,u dont just say nia..but sometimes i really feel fed up and need a hug/shoulder :( 

:D stay peace and harmony fight for my life!

After releasing my stress need to back to work!

A curve on your lips make your days bright :)

Why is me?I don't want be the toy.

Actually,why? Why is me? Why keep on hurting girls?

I don't understand. I am a normal girl just an ordinary girl! I don't want get hurt like this.

By the way,I am okay. Totally okay with it. Happy and contented.

Just I really don't willing to comply with what you did to me.

Why me?!

You never feel sorry and guilty??

Whatever,you never gonna feel what I feel.You never gonna be.

 Never mind,you will get what you deserve :)

so stay tuned ^.^

Contented Day.

Yesterday,Hoimin was staying with me.Well due to some reason she was sleeping on the same bed with me xD

We had a great sleep yesterday,body was fully charged *except now,low battery :(

First,we were deciding to go penang georgetown library.But,we changed plan to shu xuan..

When heading there,gosh! The road is full of vehicless...Damn Damn Damn! I took a change again and straight drive to straits quay. *the best place ever.

First location: Starits Quay-Starbucks. Planning for study.

Having our study for about few hours.After that,I want to buy a new plugiee for my ibaby <3<3 then I decided to head to gurney for it.

2nd location:Gurney plaza. O.O

Its like the second home of mine,went there for times a week @@

nevermind,had my dinner there and bought a new pencil case *actually is a comestic case .__.

Its pink in colour,omg so unlike me!!

had my dinner at chopper board,with yi chun and hoimin. Yi chun is so fucking retarded xDD

After that, we went to meet fresh for dessert. *yichun had gone home and din't join.

Its awesome the dessert there.Yummy ,and addicted to it xD

3rd location:  TongPakFu *dessert house.

Had 2 rounds dessert in a day ==

Was with colleagues in switch straits quay. Same thing,they are mad!

After chit chatting and went home separately. 

That's the end of yesterday :D

Don't really like to spend time on blogging about my day,just sajak sajak xD

Unless I am awesome lifestyle if don't I don't talk much. Because that kind of act is kinda retard. ^.^

Not being sarcastic,so don't mind what I say,if you do,then you admitted you have that retarded mind ^^

Kindly by Me.

How I hope?

Actually everything happens now maybe is the fate,destiny.

When the first time we meet and start to date,obstacles keep on make our way difficult.

How do I say so?

Just like,first time,you came to straits quay to dine with me,but then my colleague asked me to go out with him for dinner.The timing is really shit,before I out you din't inform or even a call,whenever I was on the way to dine *hawker food nearby-Viva. you called. -.- what an epic incident.I was like omfg,what the hell is going one @@ okay fine.

 Second time,the first actual date,I remember the wrong time for movie,you called me for 20++ calls but I din't pick one.I was really guilty and feel I am an asshole at that moment.

After that,my mum.Stops me from contacting you.Well there's reason.

Then now,your EX.

Is hard for you not to believe,the road and way are really hard to continue,so I chose not to struggle and had given up everything on you. I did feel distressed on every incident that happened.Maybe I am not the right one for you,neither I do.

So just accept the fate.We can't fight with the GOD.Because we are mortals.

__xinQxin___

No more the girl like last time :)

Seriously,I am no more like last time. I don't cry for boys.*at least not now,LOL.
But sincerely thanks to those who hurt me badly in past.
You all made me stronger to face those critical time.It did.
First of all,the only guy I was crying on. Thanks for your cruelty and insist to leave me.You made up my mind and let me see there are still many better options out there.You ain't that perfect anymore.You did,last time.

2nd.You,is you. The one I had the strong feeling when we first met.The bad boy looking and playful boy I ever met.You drove me crazy for once.I think I told you.LMAO.
But something's happened.Not blaming you,you want you to be mature.Be a real man.Be responsible to every acts.No more like a boy that could ignore and leave whatever you had promised.

Im now a big girl,hohoho! Overcomes the difficulties and stand firm to face the obstacles in life.
Going to hit me for on more time? Fuck yea just bring it on !

Is totally over.

This will be the last post for you.

Well,what can I say about this incident? 1st thing,if you can't guarantee you EX won't find you back and annoy you,pls don't approach any girl. Seriously,this is really a kill to any girl who has feeling to you. When you give someone hopes and after awhile you just straightly tell them ''sorry,I can't be with you,because of my EX.''

Don't you feel this is really unfair to the girl?She did nothing wrong to you both!She is ignorant on your previous relationship,she believed you that you both had broken up for a period of time.But,the fact isn't like this.You both just broken up for couples of months ago.In additional,this really hurts the girl,who did nothing wrong on that,the only thing she is wrong is for believing you at first.You say you don't want to hurt anyone of us,don't you know that you are actually hurting the girl? You did it virtually. Please,I am not blaming you for hurting me,just can you please organize your things in a better way?Not only the life style,and the way you make a decision. Is no point for you to escape.If you can't continue please make it clear.Don't just disappear for days.This is not a good attitude.

By the way,please have a better and healthier life style.Mine is bad but yours are holly shit!

Care your diet and please reduce the alcoholic drinks.

If she wanted a break up,then why is her keeping on stalking me and noticing what you and I talking about?Plus,what for she keeps on stopping you to know new girls and have new relationship? Don't you feel that is silly and childish enough? If she is about to let go,she doesn't need to do what she is doing now. Am not blaming her,make it clear. Just really silly and selfish and unfair to you. If it does happen to other girl then maybe you will be sufferer than now. Look,if that girl doesn't want to lose, then she will do anything to hurt your EX. I don't want to fight or grab anything from her.I hate to fight to quarrel to win anybody else.That's the principle of my life. Hate to dispute something with other. I just dispute for myself. The only thing I will dispute on is future a.k.a education.

I think this post has to come the an end,lastly, make up your mind and be clear what you want.Ps* I am not inciting you and her. Just telling what's I feel.

Good luck buddy,friend forever. BFF. <3

Reviewed it again.

Reviewed his blog again,discovered something. *He rather choose been hurt also don't want to hurt people anymore ! He always feel guilty and hurt because of had hurt the girl that truly love him . The scar always in his heart .

Okay,I think I saw that before,but why I dont have any defense on that time? ==

I can surely conclude that,all is my yi xiang qing yuan ==

He did mention.But why,you never say it to me?Instead of telling this,you told me you are ready and bla bla bla. Shit ass...

Nvm,forget about it,make it as an experience. zzz.

No one wants to live in the past,so do I. Human fight for future not for the past,unless you chose to be with her again.

Valentine's day.

I still can remember,one year ago. We were really happy on that time,but why?Everything gone bad and now is no turning point. No more. I am alone today,blogging at home,maybe will spend time with my brother since is his birthday.

Everything changed in a year,I met you,having happy time,quarrel,break up and together and break up. I thought our relationship would last.But at last,it doesn't.

Its okay,I hope that you can find a new one,and forget me soon. Wish you stay happy and change you hot temperament.

While,what about myself?  Hmm. really not happy at all.

1)Most of my friends went to celebrate with their love ones. *no one bother me at this sweet day/night ==

2)I have to take a big responsibility to study Tamadun Islam for tomorrow penilaian. God damn it,it totally ruin my mood.

3)I have made a decision that I am not willing to. Never be,I told him we be friend forever ok? He says yes. Yea, he should say that.Because it is the best way for him,and the purpose I do so is the best for him.No more guilty to me.ok? Is enough,you owe me nothing,you have nothing to pay for me. Everything happens voluntarily. No one force me. So dont feel sorry to me anymore.I made this decision is to make you feel better.

4)My brother can own a new laptop.. zzzz. i7, mine just pentium!!! wtf~~~

Okay la. After I saying those thing to you.I think you won't view anymore. Some more have nothing for you to care anymore. Because I am just a little crush. Just as you mention before :')

One thing, I am happy that I can see you on today. :D

我白痴！！！

我以为他会在乎！他会有感觉！那都是我一厢情愿。都是我自己贱。好需要个拥抱！！彻底失望，永远都要被人家这样对我，永远要把头撞得死死才甘愿！口说无所谓。心被弄得破得无可救要！你算老几？人家顾及你感受做么？你zih只是个没有价值的过客而且！收皮啦！我想在你心里可能我已经没有起出的价值了吧？
抹干眼泪，为新的一天加油吧！霍倩欣永远都那么地强！Aza fighting!!!

好辛苦哦！

这种感觉好辛苦啊！好想和他一起，没理智地谈一场恋爱！但为什么会发生那么多事情？总觉得，我和他每次都没有顺利的约会，总是有东西拦着。难道我们的认识根本是一个错？我不懂，很烦。但我真的是彻底地疯上他了！！就像我上次对你所说的，＂我中了你的毒＂ 彻底被你迷倒了。 好想和你说说话，那说不完的话。好可爱！哈哈！但总觉得我们就是那么多波折，一连接二地来。我懂你欠她太多了，我不怪你，和她。只能说，我可能认识错你了。但你给我带来不少欢笑！哈哈哈！喜欢你~但不要紧，还是会祝福你的。可能你已生气了我，但我写blog只是发泻，没别的目的，也没那心机.
老实说，真的很伤，那种被伤害还要强颜地告诉自己，他有苦衷，相信他，认识你，我有回那感觉，可能你不懂，但那感觉对我很重要，可能你觉得很无聊。但我真的伤得蛮深。但就是无可药救地爱上了你。我懂我永远比不上她。请放心吧，我会慢慢离开，不再烦你，让你过个安稳的生活。我什么都给／满足不了你。但我会帮你祈祷，让你天天安康。祝你幸福！！ :D😃😃😃

Going to be a habit.

Recently,I have a habit is wait until he is online and chat with me from chat box only willing go to bed.
Since when I got this habit? I dont know. Whenever see him isn't online,feel down. Whenever see him online get slightly excited,but whenever knowing he will never chat with me.. totally down...

But is okay..I will get used to it soon.

The time you come approach is really short. While I will forget in a short period of time.

Tomorrow classes will lead me to death.

Good night <3

Gosh Gosh Gosh!!

Fall asleep at 5 am morning. I thought I would be good in sleep. But everything goes reversely.

Couldn't sleep well at that time,heartbeat bounced fast without reasons. I don't know why..

Keep on dreaming those nonsense things.Was captured by an evil pirate,was chasing by a ghost. Even met cannibal family.. gosh! I scare all those things,but I keep on dreaming on them, couldnt have a good night to sleep. T.T

Around 9 morning i woke up and go change a pant,due to the previous pant is too long and hot,after that time I only have a better sleep. OMGEE, that is killing me..

Finally I woke up at 2:15pm. Afternoon..

was awake by stomachache. God damn it. Why I am like a troublesome.. @@

Keep on happening something bad on me..

Nevermind, all those are small cases -.-

I overcame from the big case, these small cases are nothing. Seriously :DDD

End here,gonna do my stuff @@

By xin.

I did.Miss you.

Actually I cannot blame on you. But thank to you. You did pull me up from the last relationship,you made me have the feeling. The feeling like when I first met him.. Others tried to make it,but failed ?(I am sorry to them).

But you,came across to my life. Give me back the feeling,the feeling of falling in love without thinking about the consequences! I enjoy the feeling when be with you. Though it is unsafe and dangerous. :DD

I willing to pay for it. Thats the feeling I ve been looking for. You know I love to adventure,but gave me the feeling. But things changed due to some reason. I believed on you. Maybe I will blame in front of my friends. But actually my heart still hoping you din't lie,never lie.

BTW, you did make me grow too :D This is the first time I dint listen to my mum. I chose to be with you. The make me dare to try xDD

Maybe it is wrong decision,but I willing to pay for it.

Is better than never try and regret for the entire of my life :D

YOU ARE DANGEROUS BOY,BAD BOY,WILD LOVER!

No choice, I like it :DD

Never regret, though I did say I regret xDDD

Never regret on my decisions now~~

BTW, I miss you deeply.. but I wont text you as I promised. 

*nice quote.

If you both are meant,no matter how worst the situation you both still will be together. 

I promise,I will live in the better way,never wanna let u feel guilty! <3 ;DD

Isn't your fault.

Actually everything happens now is not your fault. How to say leh,hmm.. You din force me to do anything. You din force..just i willing to pay for it,this is my own responsibility. You no need to feel guilty or what..

You did entertain me. I felt happen when the time be with you,though it was really short.
I wont disturb you anymore. I promise you,no more text ,chat box..

Sorry for making so much interruption to you. Really sorry about that.

Hope we can still be friend, and dont run away when meet me xDD

BTW, I know you wont read this blog anymore,since there's no reason for you to do so. xDD

Good luck to you la. Thank you,for everything you offered. :D Just like a deal. Kinda. hahaha.

Fight for my new semester. Is really hard @@

What I feel.

Really,you are different now. Maybe I am wrong. Wrong in too fast believe you.
I don't know what I feel now. Confusing. Really.
You like don't care anything. Feeling like I am fooled. Do you still remember what you told me? You are ready,you will accept all those.
Maybe I have mistaken you,but you din explain. You say you will tell. But you din. Last time you will view this but now I don't think you have the time to view. Even the heart...
Feel disappointed. I want to believe. I hope you din lie.. I never hope you lie,I hope what you say is real. I dare not to know the real truth. I am like back to last time's life. GOSH,that's why I feel I am alienated. Damn...
By the way,you no need care what I write here,just be yourself. If you want to leave or stop everything just one text will do. Is better than you dot tell. Feel like Sohai! TELL I won't care. Whether you want to leave or not.
If leave: it was a dream then. If you don't then just assume nothing happen. Time is given for you to explain to me. But you never... So I ask,what do you want?!

为什么你会变成这样的？！

以前的那个你了那里？
上课准时，不缺席的你。
良好习惯的你了那？！
为何你会变成这样的？
失望！
被骗了还不懂，一点防备能力都没有。

I can&apos;t figure it out.

I really can't figure out what he is thinking,what kind of people is him.
Is too unpredictable.

你到底葫芦里卖什么药？
放弃或不？我不懂。

@@ what now.......

I dono..I dono how...I think I did wrong thing again..no one will treat u good except youself.

Ya..i did WRONG thing!!!

I hate myself...I hate myself,why I am that stupid and naive....

I admit........admit..........admit..............

Fuck off......

blaaa..go jiak saiiiii

T.T

This is a post for you.

This is a special post after I had finally read your blog.

Well,I did,but this time is clearer.

I noticed that,your blog is full of those disappointments. You feel that your life aren't smooth,you feel your life are sucks.So,what do you think about others who are facing the worst situation but still continue their life?

Life arent easy,yeah,thats life :)

If human's life are wonderful and no setbacks,then HEAVEN is nothing.

Dilemmas,setbacks,troubles are full in human life.No doubt,we have to accept it.

The way we try to reduce it is being a kind person,and be optimistic :)

Do you believe in karma?What goes around comes around. I do believe this.

You treat people in sincere heart and be kind and humble,things will go smooth in your life.

Another thing,you say you had tried your best in your studies,so Can I ask you a question? How much is the BEST you tried? I do believe your brain works better than me,so why dont you get a better result than me?

:)

Change the attitude you have,time,age will change someone:) I believe,one day you will get what i mean here.

Brain not that brilliant doesnt mean you wont success in future,when you think you are smart than others,then the failures you are getting will be more and more.

Knowledge are broad and wide,no ones could actually learn it all,so what for to be so proud when you got a higher result? Is that really matter? Is that really important to show it off? For me,you just need to show off to yourself!

*ps,this isnt mentioning about you ;P

REMEMBER WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND :)

be humble.

I know she had changed you a lot. Maybe I will be different compare with her,but is okay. Because you both have precious memories that shouldnt forget ;P

I wont blame or force you to stop thinking about her :)

At last, you arent alone.I will be your side when you are down. I will try my best to make it.

I believe you,I am trying my best to turn you into a better man. Hope you wont disappoint me ;)

You may not read this,but I still will post it out :DD

*Treat yourself better. <3

Unexpected;but I don&apos;t know the feeling

It's really unexpected. I never think that you have been noticed me from every social network I am using.
First Facebook,second blog,third twitter.
You just keep it in the low profile :)
But at last I noticed it. But what can I do??
I feel I am sucks. I can't do what I actually need to do. Just doing nothing.
Speechless man -.-
Today's moon is nice :) round :) hope everything is like the moon,completed. ❤

:&apos;)

I know,Everything was like a dream. Hope everything you said is true. Not just making me fun.:)
But if yes,I have no choice too.
I want to be with you. Really. I wan to say it out loud!
Let time proves. Sorry for hurting you. No more I promise,as I say,all the hurt just let me have it,you deserved to be happy:)

梦醒

或许这一切都是梦。是时候醒来了。这条路真的很难走。很多事情就是那么猜不透。上一段已经把我耍得团团转了，难道我又要再被耍多一次？我真的失去方向。打从小时候就注定往后日子不易走。难道就能听天由命？谁来帮帮我？现实或感觉？我真的不懂。

Whenever I am here

Whenever I am here,means.. I met problems again..
I like a guy. Really,the feeling is really strong enough. Just like the feeling I met him last year. Exactly. But I know.. He is like a play boy. I want to be with him. I like the feeling so much. But,there are things to worry about still.
I know..maybe I will fail and hurt until I left nothing even worse than the ex.
But there are the strong feeling to ask me to try,try,try!!! Keep on trying for give up!
I really hard to make a decision. God can you please do me a favor? Follow my feeling? Or be realistic. I know,realistic is always that cruel. But being lied from something doesn't feel good either.
What to do?!