Love The Way You Lie - Part II

On the first page of our story

The future seemed so bright

Then this thing turned out so evil

I don't know why I'm still surprised.

The lyrics surprised me, actually I didn't really notice it when it first released, until now I only check the lyrics out. And it surprised me,because it sounds really familiar to me.

Feeling for posting blog comes in a sudden. Perhaps it is because of recently I've been reading a lot of novels. Romance one *yay girls thing.

I will just ignore what novel recently I read. There are feelings I want to share, I feel lonely recently.

Know nothing about the reason, just feel like why do I always being alone? Yay I know this is not a matter. The feeling is easily wiped away. Reality, reality and reality! 

I know I have to be independent! I know I have to face everything by myself I know I know right!

It's not the time yet, not the great timing to have a relationship that I've always wanted for. And I am yet to meet a right one.

Always wanted something that is impossible to get. Maybe this is life, life is about what you got isn't the one you wanted yet the one you've always wanted never be the one of yours. 

Suck it up, and face the reality with a positive mindset ; this is the only way to stay longer.

爷爷，一路好走，我们会想你的。

到现在我都还是难以相信 他真的走了。

从小和他们的接触并不多，可以说是一年只有一次吧，但看见他躺在那里，不会动，不会回答你了，那种心酸。。

哎~

回想起那些回忆，几个月前还很健壮的高歌，说笑。明天就要被一把火给烧成灰了。

人类在总是这样，还在生的时候不懂得珍惜，等到人生要走到尽头的时候就后悔当初为何没有和他多呆着，多聊天。现在，只能看着他那副遗容 默默地掉眼泪。

这能够说是，我们同是本根生吗？ 那种感觉，虽然 看起来并没有那么亲但到了那种时候 你就会有了那种非常不舍得的 感觉。

我难以想像，自己的父母离去时的那种不舍得。

I miss you yeye.

‘欣欣，如果有人恐吓你记得跟爷爷说，爷爷帮你出头’。

我还记得，那是我最后一次见到他的时候对我说的。奶奶说，爷爷梦到我收到我前男友的恐吓信所以担心我真的被恐吓了。

当时我听了就笑了一下，爷爷太可爱了。

那天，我一个人去了拜访他们老人家，呆在那儿5个小时左右吧。也是第一次和他们老人家好好谈话。听着奶奶如何去旅行，如何去探索这个世界。 我顿时觉得，'ei, 怎么想法和我那么一样啊？' 所以就继续问下去。原来她去了那么多国家，想法自然会不一样了，很多东西对她来说都不是什么大不了了。亏我一直想着，怎么她都不怕没有孙子或后代之类的。现在我终于懂了。

Life is not about the destiny, is about the journey. 我们每个人都有着同样的终点，都是会去世的。但重点是，在你人生中你如何的活着？如何利用你在世的时间来探索这世界。死亡是每个人无法逃避的事实，那是每个人的终点。就像一场赛跑，有的人快有的人慢 但到最后还是要到达终点的。

爷爷就这样离开了。

虽然，他们和我们接触的时间并不深，并不长，但还是我的亲人。

就算以前对我们不好，毕竟都是亲人，我还是会伤心的。

我不懂在说些什么。人命由天，我们的责任是活好自己的生活，不要遗憾而终。

Hey yo I'm back. finally zzz Okay so I've got things to express again. Well I am not really happy today and it is kinda down. I just realized that there's nothing called friendly in my recent college. Because the friendlier you are the more people saying you are acting like a slut. I can't accept this shit!  yea , really hard to accept right? If you dinner or lunch with a guy's friend, people will say you bitchy or what. nehh see la,she every day out with different guy one see how bitchy is she.  This college is full of LALA, and their minds are like , okay going out or date you for dinner is considered as I WANNA CHASE YOU! fuhh man what kind of logic is this? If you really do think so I think you should be the bitchy one yo. And for some other guys, they will think so,her ah ohh every time change target one mah very bitchy one. Shit la you, if you don't get a girl pls don't comment or judge kay? If you don't get a girl please go for some service kay? Don't judge because of jealousy. Jealousy makes you suck.

Am saying all of these is because I am facing this kind of problem, I don't think is  'am' should be 'was' too, because this problem never end. GAHHH...damn, you people really...zzzz So do I need to inform you when I made new friends? HUH?! And what's the problem to have opposite sex friends? Get a life la dude, don't be so isolated minded can or not? Rumuors Rumuors everywhere and all from your stupid ugly big mouth!

And don't judge me I am just express my feeling! I got no one to tell and I don't need any comments! 

我曾经忍为，如果一天一个人到国外，离开家人，我不会不舍，不会想念。 但现在我可以说我绝对不同意当初的想法。我真的会想家。我妈妈，我弟弟，我kakaｋ，三姨，表妹，表弟。我亲爱的家人。或许我慢慢在长大了，家人对我来说，真的很重要！

A friend of mine told me that, I am like the previous her. Err.. I mean the things I am doing and I like recently.

At first, I agreed about what she said. But not the strong one. Until today, I noticed that what I am doing now really same like what she did last time. D:

This is not a bad news,just I am way too slow only. Never mind I still can improve :DD

Don't know what to say DD:

看着朋友在机场那要离开的情景，心里根本就是笑不出来的，生活里习惯有你的出现，现在你K离开了，真的很舍不得。眼泪这样就流了。

SKIP SKIP SKIP SKIP SKIP SKIP SKIP....

其实我要说的是，朋友的离别都已经这样子了，如果是我要和家人的离别 那又是怎样的？我不敢想象。

是时候长大了，独立。

Now is 0431AM,and I am in total awake. Why? 

I also got no idea at first. I slept at 0020AM and I was fallen asleep in the easy way within 5 minutes.

And I am waken up by a strange dream which is totally not related to the topic I am going to talk about now.

Yea. 18/9 is the day, the day you have to leave Penang to Belfast,Ireland. I still remember few days back I feel nothing and it was like still long yet. But time really flies. And you are going to depart to Belfast in hours later.  I feel really down for you're leaving. Maybe you are already became part of my life, actually you were part of my life since 2 years ago.

URGG. I don't know what to say and I am insomnia now. :( I'll miss you. And I already started to miss you. :'((((((((

天啊，真的很不舍得你。我会想念你那可爱的脸孔，美妙的嗓子。：（

Belfast 那么远 不是说要去探访你就去探访你。哎。。

好啦，那些 take care 的话我想不必多说了，你一向来都不必别人操心，但有时要倾诉的时候你随时可以来找我。Hey 等一下，你当然要来找我啦， 我可是你的女朋友啊。哈哈！

Anyways, 去到那边一个人万事都要很小心，就算你多么自立也好，还是要提防提防。

好不舍得啊！！！！！！！！

Do you ever have this kind of feeling? Feeling lost.

I did and do.Feeling lost about what can I do now, or maybe future.

I doubt for how could I survive for my future.

I am fear. Fear for failure,fear that I couldn't stand for any obstacles.

I don't know what can I do now.

I know no one can lead me out from this misty situation but myself.

Seeing friends are going overseas for studies chasing their dream but I am still stuck in here.

I wish I can reach my dream. I don't want to be a shallow person who just care about money but I know there's nothing to do if you don't have money.

I think now really is the time for me to grow. There are many things that couldn't go under your expectation. So many uncertainties 

I don't know what am I saying. GRRR. WHATEVER. 

Tomorrow my result will be coming out. I can feel that tomorrow will be a dome day,even though tomorrow I am going out with my friends, old friends.

Everything already fixed and you cannot change the past, so let it be. Try to be positive.

I can't let go.

500 days of summer's soundtrack.

so this is a new friend. Richard Peh.

第一次的聚会，也是最后一次的聚会。

Yea shitty people do shitty things. 

Oh no in our case is shitty person does shitty thingS.

If you know what I mean 

;)

I've started my semester break's part-time job. I am working in a shop which is doing fragrance business. As my 'boss' says all of the stocks are guinea. But still many customers still asking for the same question, 'are the perfumes guinea?' Yeaaa yeaa they are.

I have one thing to emphasize here. Working as a part-timer should be really happy and enjoy just like how happy I was when working in switch, but in fact it is not. I was really in hell when working there(I mean for the past few days), I don't feel any happiness but stress and tension! Oh gosh seriously, working there for one day seems like working for a week. Rules and regulations even more than the bigger company like switch. And don't care if you are new or old crew, you will be scolded easily with a little mistake. So how to work at this kind of place for long? Sorry I cannot bear it. 2 weeks are more than enough I cannot bear it.

Life is hard,it is wonderful if it full of obstacles. Oh life !

                                             

'Do not be afraid to admit that you were or are wrong. When you admit that you were or are wrong, that's when you are right. You are growing to be a better person, a more mature person. Do not let your emotions take over your mind. Not having the ability to control your emotion is like slowly killing yourself in a less obvious way.

After all, I just want you know, in my view,you're still pure for this wicked world. But if you need anything, or if you need me, I will be there. Not 24hours, not when Im sleeping or bathing or eating or doing my business. But I will be available for you other times beside that. 

I love you.'

whosayimcrazy.

I read one of my friends' blog. From the first post until the end. Which takes me 2 nights to finish it. Well some of you will say Hell No It is really bored! But trust me, you'll never feel bored while reading every posts of her blog. Trust me you'll be amazed ! Well maybe? But for me yes. 

I still remember I struggled a lot in year 2011. Yeah it was pretty rough in that year, had been through a rough relationship and friendship as well. For the relationship , if you read my blog last time I think you'll understand how rough it was. For friendship, I don't think I have mention about it and it is nothing good to say about. Just it was a test for us I can be told that was a test between our friendship.

Because of her, we almost lost this precious friendship *oh stop it you. Yeah I really do appreciate the friendship and it made me cried for nights because I lost it. It really HURTS. But I've forgiven what you both did to me. Because this shown how much I cared about you both. I really mean it kay? 

As I said, I only forgive person that I really care about and for those that I don't give a shit, opps I am sorry you are just nothing to me. You hurt me well maybe I won't pay it back to you but it doesn't mean you are really been forgiven. Just I don't wanna waste my time on you.So get it bitch? :)

For all those misunderstood girlfriends of my friends sincerely , I don't have any interest on your boyfriends. If I do , do you think that you still have the chances to be with your boyfriends NOW? :) So make it clear, I don't really like sneaky relationship or what. And I won't act or pretend to be good with you. I feel stupid when acting kind with person I don't like. Because it makes me look STUPID. Hell no way I am smart kay. *JOKE..

Here's some words for my darling friend. I know I've written you a long post before but still I want to write about you this gorgeous girl. Chee Wei.

You are like my sister. Elder one, caring and intimate. You taught me a lot. I was a really negative girl or (emo) last year. Since the year I met him, and I have to admit, I did enjoy the happiness with him but it was short. And because of him , I kinda ruined our friendship maybe I did or din't. ;) But!!!!! Fortunately, we are back to normal. From your blog, I learned something. I used to be really emo last time, and when I feel down, I will log onto you whosayimcrazy to look for something positive. So it helped! And I started hang out with youuuuuuuu. Awhh how sweet is it?! <3

stop it will you? -..-*

Okay back the topic, I just....really thank you so much. I disappointed you once, and I know how much you used to care about me. *HAHAHAHA admit it don't you dare to deny it! :p You din't want me to be with him is because you care about me and try to avoid me from getting hurt.*because you know how jerk he was and is. But I din't listen to you just like a girl rebel her mother! HAHAHAHA. But I learned from it, You told me, I am too pure for this wicked world. Yea, I was and maybe am but I am trying to learn to be independent. Just sometimes walk slow and do things slow motion only niaa la :PP

Oppss I think I am writing an essay. Sorreyyy :p 

*sorry for the broken English! I am working hard to improve it ><*

Love,

Qian-xin. 

*got it from somewhere and found out it is interesting*

It is time to take a break. Oh yea, this is the time I have been waiting for. I need a time to read the books that I always wanted to read. A lot too many, there are too many books that are still remained unwrapped. So I need to settle them.

Hmm. just realise I actually spent a lot of money on the books. But for me, it will never be a waste for me. Cause this is how I enjoy myself with knowledge.

Here comes my college semester break , i GOTTA use it wisely before I really on next month. I mean the beginning of another new semester.

Recently my life is kinda packed. 

.....

Oh wait, you must think that my life is full of different kind of events,but hell no! It isn't !

My final examination is just around the corner. Is really just near, ya is tomorrow.

Tomorrow will the 1st paper and it is the tough one. Ethics of business.

Well the tough isn't about it is hard to understand. Is just, I can't memorise things. You know there are something fixed and you can't just change it simply.

I mean, the principles , the definition. Hell ! This is really taking me to hell. If you want me to explain it orally, yeah there is nothing to worry about but in fact it isn't . 

Okay I am just nagging to myself. So what to do? Continue to put the 'things' in my tiny brain :/

Hope I can make some juice out.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

 Ewww, that sounds yucks! Whatever who cares. (-.-)

Well well well , I think I have quite a time never update my blog, because I was pretty busy for the pass few weeks, you know college stuff :S

Actually have nothing much to say about my life, every time I am here to talk is something make up my mind or maybe some feeling to express. So recently am playing for travel with my family. But my mom, who always worry for 'things' that shouldn't to be worried. She is worrying for the plane and bla bla bla.. So I can only answer her with 'If I don't do it before I die, then I will regret and never die peace =.='

Seriously, at least try. For me , I'll try without hesitating as long as it is right. Is better to make mistakes rather than making yourselves regret for never tried it.

Try.

Well nowadays people are getting weird. I post my article and write my own feeling just to EXPRESS it out. Is that anything to do with you?! Is that illegal?! I was accused by someone mind-fucked, and just want to express my feeling out through words! CAN I?!?!?! Just go do your own business no one to view my blog is okay some more I don't put the link on my facebook and stop publish it to facebook but why still have so many anonymous come and give shit on it? I BLOG IS TO EXPRESS MY FEELING NOT TO ENTERTAIN YOU PIECE OF SHIT! DAMN! GET A LIFE PLEASE. I AM NOT GOING TO STEP BACK FOR THIS, IT'S ENOUGH TO GET ACCUSED! 

This piece of shit who are you?

my blog I write what i feel, and ensure it doesn't mention about politic! I got the right kay!

信心是自己给的。每个人生出来时平等的，或许有些事情上有点不同。但那只在于你如何去看它。

I am just overestimated myself. They not really meant it. You are just too normal to seek for. 

So, forget about it and keep on going. No more expectation on things like that. Really not a fuck will be given next time.

everybody's got a dark side,do you love me? can you love mine?

nobody's a picture perfect but we're worth it you know that we're worth it

will you love me? even with my dark side?

Dark side - Kelly Clarkson.

Recently am reading a novel Fifty Shades of Grey.

It makes me think of this song. I don't know why just feel both are so related and saying almost the same thing.

Stop hoping.

其实。。该怎么说呢？ 从我有朋友开始，就是最怕看到朋友们之间的争执。是的，好朋友间有时是难免的。但我还是想说我真真真的的的不想看到她们这样子！看了，自己却帮不上忙真的很难受。
因为同一个人，我们之间闹了多少次的驾啊？我真的真的不要看到这样子啦···


不懂如何来形容我现在的心情。或许你，会觉得我们接近你是不怀好意，但如果我说，当初我的坚决又算什么呢？我不懂啦，伤心死了。

They are awesome.

19/6

Harvest In.

Yea. It's my birthday today.I never expect for anything at first,because I thought that today's Basic Taxation test result will be announced so I was a lil down in the morning. When I come down from my car to lecture hall, I meet the craziest hot tempered 'polite' friend, LOL Charles. He shouted to me ' Yo, Mr.Fok!' I was like -...- what the heck is this early in the morning greeted me in that way. Then I 'salute' him back with the cutest finger. After the class he said he wanted to treat me lunch as my birthday present, so we went to Harvest in for lunch. 4 of us, Charles,Yichun,Hoimin and me :D I ordered Spaghetti Carbonara, thanks Charles :P
After the lunch we continued our class as normal nothing special happened. After the class, we went for assignment discussion and spent couples of hours to do it. When we were having the discussion, I felt that Hoimin got a lot of weird action, for instance,suddenly received calls, normally she has no that much call in afternoon , so I was like why so many call? And every call she need to get out to answer it , like ' hey here's line sucks,hold on...' Then I asked Charles, your room's line very sucks? Then he answered :' nope it's Digi problem I think' HAHA！ What a good answer!
Then we finished it and go take my car and I prepared to drive home. When I wanted to start my car, I saw a Volks behind the car next to me but I din't see the car plate number, then I just forget about it *cause I don't always see Volks hanging around Tarc. So when I wanted to drop hoimin , I saw PGB*** 
OHMYGOSH! Its chee wei's car and I saw the Jes and Weline in the car too!


OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGGGGG <3.<3

Sushi by CheeweiHoiminJeslinWeline :D

Cutest and prettiest hot mama! xD

With them :')

urgggg...I don't know to how describe the feeling, at first I thought today's really no one cares because I thought everyone isn't free so can't have a dinner but they din't some more they spent hours for the SURPRISE!


They spent hours to prepare SUSHI for me. And Weline got home late and was scolded by mum. OH NO , I am so sorry :( But then I appreciate what you guys done to me. Really . And hoimin, the one who try to act like nothing is really hard casting! HAHAHA~ thanks you guys . Really do...
Actually we did went to E&O hotel for buffet one, but because of some reason so I din't mention it here before, but now I am going to share. And thanks the one who treated us, CHEE WEI muacksss. I appreciate what you did to me and all of you :')

I know I am fat in these photos :(

*Mom.Bro.Kakak-maid.Uncle Seng.

My mom,she bought me a cake and we prepare to celebrate in a simple way, just me mum brother kakak and uncle seng. I love you all, family and friends! And my aunt present me an angpau :P

They love me and I love them too very much :')

Oh ya, and a face sipek tebal de guy ask me to mention him here. Tan Linghoe! Wished me for more then 4/5 times? I guess. Hahaha, thank you for you long-winded wishes. :p

Lastly,HappyEndingOfBirthdayPost :D

Family.

小时候都会期待着生日的到来，那种兴奋和喜悦是最纯真的但我想我再也找不回那种感觉了吧。
小时候，妈妈对我说你生日当天是我最痛苦的一天你知道吗？哇，还要跟我要礼物呀！
当时觉得妈妈不爱我了，她只爱弟弟 :( 伤心得很。但随着时间，我们慢慢的在成长，妈妈也随着光阴老去了。现在我懂，妈妈当初为什么每次都那么说了，我也是女人那种痛真是不懂如何形容才是。
废话就不说了，我只想说，妈妈我真的懂你的用心良苦，但有时候我那份热血就是很难控制。还有，如果你问我，要什么愿望， 我会说：我要我爱的人身心安康，我讨厌的人理我远去，伤害我的人报应显灵。
:)

我和妈妈

小表妹

:D三姨

弟弟：）

大表妹。

大表妹与表弟 :D

Bought a new novel.

Fifty Shades of Grey-EL James.

This is kinda 'adult' novel is not like the style I read previously.

I found out the interest of it, so I decided to buy it and hope it don't disappoint me.

好啦好啦，我又有一种想要发花痴的感觉了。
该说些什么呢？突然有一种决心要把自己想要的事情一一地列出来，当我收到钱是一次过把它们买回来！

List-to-buy

1) Nike running shoes. 但我会等我现在穿的才买啦。 rm200++++ T.T need time to collect.

2) Birkenstock - still considering but mostly not going to buy it HAHAHAH

3) Be slim

4)Be smart

5)The lotion for burning the fat. - this is a very need, so wish I can get it as soon as possible.

6)Be happy and everyone I love be happy too.

7)Semi-pro camera- still long yet xD Need to save for my own first camera.

 Bla bla blaaaaa ..

有目标才不会觉得自己的人生没意义。所以它们都是我的‘目标’。 teeheeee 

Close your eyes,hold your breath.

No doubts no fears but dare to dream,not thought but action.

Face it and tell yourselves 'it's only part of your life.'

It's wicked,I mean the world or maybe human's mind. But what to do with it? We can't change their mind or action. So face it and don't be afraid of it.

 *lol this is the way to comfort myself,sometimes it works.

She isn't stupid,

she is just being kind.

Babes :D

有你们的日子真好。

我···

是说真的。我们之前有过很多的误会，也因此差一点就翻脸做不成朋友。但我还是想说，如果不是那次的误会，我都不懂原来我们是那么的有缘啊~

只能说，每一次和你们出街，就是那么的开心没压力！但唯一个烦恼：——要吃什么？！

哈哈哈！

话就不多说，只想说，我很珍惜你们。

:D

June.

Ya, It's June now. The month I was born 19 years ago.

Actually I don't really wanna have any celebration on my birthday,and just act like a normal day.

But then I changed my mind again. I just,maybe have a dinner with my family? And with chee wei hoimin weline jeslin them? Hmm, maybe. To be honest, I will feel like there's nothing for me to celebrate my birthday.

I don't know what I really want.

Oh wait, I know what I want.

Confidence,be confident.

Be independent when facing the tough time in life.

clown  (kloun)

a. A buffoon or jester who entertains by jokes, antics, and tricks in a circus, play, or other presentation.

b. One who jokes and plays tricks.

2. A coarse, rude, vulgar person; a boor.

3. A peasant; a rustic.

intr.v. clowned, clown·ing, clowns

1. To behave like a buffoon or jester.

2. To perform as a buffoon or jester.

"It seems plausible that folly and fools, like religion and magic, meet some deeply rooted needs in human society".

 For this reason, clowning is often considered an important part of training as a physical performance discipline, partly because tricky subject matter can be dealt with, but also because it requires a high level of risk and play in the performer.

The humour in clowning comes from the self deprecating actions of the performer, rather than the audience laughing with the performer as is common with other forms of comedy.

The actual meaning of clown seems like is the person who is giving fun and jokes to people.But do anyone actually understand the tears of a clown?

Mood was not bad this morning but then now comes to the bottom of the rock. So you must be curious why? Right? Hmm.. first of all I went shopping as I mentioned in the previous post. And now come to the night saw someone fucking stupid idiot moron doing such childish petty action. Doing such thing to make me feel guilty and let me down. If you think that I really did guilty I just want to tell you you are doing it wrong. FAILED and big FAILURE. all you did are just stupid! 

I got the choice, I got the right to decide. You do everything that harm to yourself is just to show me as a revenge? HA. Bitch please I don't even want to give a fuck on that. Your health is your problem You decided to ruin it just go ahead and I will stand aside and watching how pathetic you will be. Sorry to be mean, but now way I have to because to people like you there's no sympathy should be given. :D

Okay got to go. tired and sleepy don't waste to much time for moron like this. Waste of time.

Shopping.

Okay today is the day. I mean is the day I've been waiting for. PTPTN and my salary out at the same time. The point is, I can shop whatever I wanted to buy!!

First I need sport's attire so badly. A sports bra , a sport bag and a shoes bag. And today I had them ALL.

Nike's sport bra ,Reebok's Bag and Adidas's shoes bag. And sometimes I will feel that I want a new water bottle xD okay just ignore this part :P

I don't know why, if you ask me to spend hundreds bucks for dress I will like..Er.. let me think about it and i WILL be right back. Phewww~ disappeared. HAHAHAH.

okay I know I know I am not a girlish type I am just sporty? Maybe. The sporty girl that don't actually can do sport. HAHAHA.

Switch World.

Got myself a picture with the switch world's catalogue :p

If you read my blog before then you will know I am working at switch as part timer. And Switch is having event in Gurney Plaza which sells accessories for Apple products. Well well well, some of the item do have sales or promotion but not everything. If you guys are interested you can actually go for Belkin. :) I mean for the ipad and iphone casing. 

Oh ya I have fallen in love with these. :P

Berriessss come to mama <3

Been a tiring day but had fun and feel contented .... actually a bit guilty too :X spent hundreds for 4 items T.T

It's okay lah because I need it. :p