I'm sorry but no sorry.

Do you ever tried  sitting at a spot and tears just dropped without any reason? Yup , I just have one just now.

I've been through a lot recently,all those accusation and guiltiness. At first, I felt guilty for rejecting and I've tried my best to look for the reason to say yes to your confession. Believe me or not, I did try before. I've been thinking for days about the question, ''do I actually have the feeling of love for him? Or it is just as simple as friendship?'' This question wandered around my mind for days, hell man. It drowns me seriously, once I knew what I want and what was my answer, I felt hard and bad to tell because I didn't mean to hurt you. I never did! 

Once I rejected, here comes the INTERESTING story of my life. Firstly, your best friend put all the blame on me for making you miserable. Hello? Do you actually feel that, the person who saying out this is any better than the one who getting rejected? Hell no I can guarantee you hell no. I feel bad ,real bad, that's what I can tell. But what else can I do? I am not the kind of explain-everything kind of person , and I was hoping you could understand my decision and respect it as well. However, what I've got is ''She is a slut'',''she loves to flirt with guys one right?'', ''I finally knew who she actually is''. Hey I say excuses me? What's wrong for me to express my feeling? What's wrong for doing my right choice?! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE OUT THERE LIVING AND GROWING UP AT THE SAME AREA? MIND-STUCK? ISOLATE-MINDED? If yes please change it or get the hell out of here. I've never had this kind of shit before I met people like you all from there. NEVER I SWEAR NEVER. What the hell?

At first when I saw all those conversation, I was furious, frustrated and wanted to slaughter your flesh and make it as sharks' dinner or breakfast whatever. After awhile, I feel sad. We've been friends for 1 year and more, who the hell am I, you still cant make it clear after hanging out for that long? Am I suppose to say you are stupid or what? In fact you never acted like that before. What kind of guts make you say those words out? I've never meant to hurt you but YOU HURT ME INTENTIONALLY! BADLY! What did I do to deserve all of these?! To be frank, is it all was about me? is it all was my FAULT?! If yes ,jot it down and make a list for me, just to make sure!

 I'm hereby to tell you, sometimes, some words have to be remained untold, even how furious you were, or how irritated you feel, you still cant say those words. It's people's feelings, you hurt it then you lose the trust.

Oh yea, everything you told me before as you requested be kept as secret, they are safe with me. As I promised I wont spread or say anything out after all you have said about me. TC.